One kidney or two?

So last night me and my husband were discussing someone we know who very much needs a kidney. Apparently a lot of people have been tested but no one has matched so far. This man is young, has a young child and is a firefighter. For some reason I kept thinking wow...that really sucks. He can't be a fireman anymore because of his condition and has been put on a donor list. These lists can take years and years.
So I'm sitting there thinking ya know, if I was a match I would totally donate my kidney. And I was really surprised that I meant it. If I could help one person survive and have a better life I would totally donate my kidney. I mean I've been through surgeries before so I know how much it sucks but what's one day of pain for years of  healthy life for another person? I'm still shocked when I sit and think about it. I mean I don't know if I would even be a match for him but just knowing that if I was I would do this and not even think twice about it just shocks me. I was thinking about it last night and this morning and was like yeah, I would. It never once occurred to me that I would change my mind. And I am such a coward when it comes to giving blood but here I am thinking of donating an organ! When did this happen? When did I stop being so selfish? I mean I did ask my husband what the effects of losing a kidney would be on me? And that sounded awful, worrying about myself when someone else could possibly die without the kidney. But I am a wife and a mother so I have to think about those things. But apparently you would never know it was gone.
So yeah, I'm surprised at myself. And I wouldn't hesitate to go get tested. I may actually ask them if they want me to. The only thing that would stop me would be if my husband didn't want me to. I mean it would affect him to so I would want his input. None of this will probably happen but just knowing that if someone ever needed a kidney that I do have the balls to give them one makes me happy for some reason. Just thought I'd share that. LOL

Drug Free Summer

I took Libby to her doctor appointment yesterday. Took her out of school 30 minutes early and drove 30 miles for a five minute talk with the doctor with gas at nearly 3.70 a gallon. Yeah thanks for that one doc. But basically we decided that we would stop with the medication for the summer. I don't know if this is good or bad. It's good that she wont have to be on meds for awhile and I'll get to see what she's like completely unmedicated. On the bad side this means that she will be bouncing off the walls for three months straight and talking non stop. Hopefully it wont be as bad as I'm thinking. Maybe in the past year she has grown out of it just a teeny tiny bit and she wont be driving me nuts. Plus I can always drop her off with Grandma and Grandpa for a while. LOL

I am really glad she wont be on meds. I don't like the side effects and I really don't like the not eating part. She just isn't hungry at all during the day. She acts like she is starving after school but she'll eat something tiny and think she's done. Kills me. I used to chow down after I got home from school. But then I have always loved food in general. I just wanted to go home, eat something , get a coke and watch tv or listen to music in my room. She is nothing like I was at her age. She wants to come home and be sociable and talk about everything that happened at school. When my parents asked about school I would always answer with either, "it was fine" or "nothing". LOL But then until about 11th grade I hated school.

I am thinking I am going to limit sugar and caffeine and try to keep a record of how she acts. I don't know, it just depends on how into it I want to get. I do know for sure that I am going to make a rule that no one is allowed to wake up before 10 am. Anyone that does will be severely punished. This does not include Carey since he will have to work.

Wish me luck for the summer. I am totally going to need it.

Five Years

So this past Friday the 13th just happened to be my five year wedding anniversary. I have never doubted that we would last but it surprises me that it went by so fast! It just doesn't seem like it's been five years. But looking back at all the things we've been through and experienced I realize that yes it has been that long. Technically we've been together for almost 7 years. We started dating in July of 2004.

A lot of people ask me how we met. And when I tell them they are always surprised. At the time we met things were a little crazy in my life. I was a single mother and a college student. I worked from home so the only time I really got out was when I went to school. And even there I didn't do a lot of socializing. I didn't want to be there so I wasn't always the happiest person in the world. Also a few months prior to me and my husband meeting my father had passed away. We had to sell the house we'd been living in and my mom, my daughter and I moved into an apartment. Then a few months later we moved into another apartment. A bigger one. I had started placing personal ads online because after my father died I kinda had a heart to heart with myself. I started thinking about what I wanted out of life. I wanted to graduate from college, I wanted to get married and have a house of my own. Then later on I wanted to have one more child. I also decided what kind of man I wanted. He had to be older then me, not opposed to children and had to have a job. I believe on my personal ad I described the perfect marriage as being like Roseanne and Dan Connor.

So after a few months of chatting with this or that guy and a few very awful meetings with this or that guy I got an email from someone new. We chatted for a while and realized we had some mutual friends and liked a lot of the same things. So finally I asked him if he'd like to go to a movie with me. He said yes and away we went. We went to the theater and watched Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. That was his first test. If he didn't think that was funny then it just wouldn't have worked out. LOL After the movie we drove around and talked. I was more comfortable with him on the first date then I had been with other guys after months of dating.

After a few very friendly dates we went to Branson together with my daughter. We had a great time and from then on we were inseparable. That winter we became engaged and decided to get married in May 2006. We got married and about two months later found out I was pregnant with our son Carson. He was born February 2007. Also I will ad that in October of 2006 my husband legally adopted my daughter. It was a wonderful day for me. I no longer had to worry about her biological father (aka douche bag). Since then things have been wonderful. I've never met any other man like him. And I doubt I ever will. He knows what I'm thinking most times and always knows exactly what I like. It's almost freaky.

But yeah, so five years married. It's crazy, I hear people talk about how things change a lot after you've been married for so long. But the only thing different I think is that we know each other better then ever and we are comfortable being ourselves around each other. I still want to look nice around him but I don't care if he sees me with my roots showing and no make up on. I don't care if I forgot to shave my legs or I have a huge zit. It just doesn't matter in the long run. He thinks I look great either way. I still think he's as hot as he ever was. Especially when I watch him working on something. I can't explain it. There is just something about watching a man working with his hands. LOL I still get excited when he walks in the door and I can't imagine a day when I wont look forward to it. I know I know...things change, people change. But I just can't imagine being any other way.

So here's to another five or another 55. Cause I know as long as I'm alive I want to be married to this man. :)

name change again...

While I am still doing the hot at 30 project I have changed the name to The Sane at 30 Project. Mainly because it seems like things are getting more and more insane in my life and around my life as time goes on. So I think it will be far more difficult to maintain my sanity for two more years then it will be to lose weight.

I will continue to post about my weightloss fiasco and whatnot but I think I was putting too much pressure on myself because of this blog. I felt bad that I was sticking to what I said and felt stupid for having started talking about it in the first place. But yeah, I'll keep you posted on that.

But for now keeping my sanity is far more important and far harder then losing some poundage. My kids are driving me nuts and it's only going to get worse. Summer vacation is only four weeks away which means I will have both kids for 24 hours of every day for the next three months. I feel the need to insert this quote, "HELP ME TOM CRUISE! HELP ME JEWISH GOD!" Must give props to Ricky Bobby on that one.

Also I have lost my mind in thinking that I need to take Libby off her ADHD meds for the summer. I want to see what she's like completely off meds and possible see about keeping her off them. They make her mood swing like crazy and since she's quickly approaching puberty I feel the need to stop these before it gets worse.

So yeah...keep ya posted.

Stuff...

So big news...Osama Bin Laden is dead by American hands. That's pretty awesome. I remember when 9/11 happened. I was in college and everyone had cell phones (except me) and were looking at messages like crazy. I finally asked somebody what happened. And when I heard the name Osama Bin Laden I felt like a total dumb blonde. Who the hell was Osama Bin Laden? And why would he want to fly planes into the twin towers?

Our teacher sent us home to watch history instead of learn about it. I went home to my one month old daughter and turned on the news. It was being replayed over and over again, the planes crashing and the towers falling. I cried like a freaking baby. I didn't know anyone who died in the towers or on the planes but having been to New York and knowing people who live in the area and just the fact that so many people died due to one man's terrorism was gut wrenching. I couldn't stop watching and I couldn't stop crying. My then boyfriend told me that I "care to much". I thought man what an asshole. How can you care too much? I still get a little teary when I watch things about it and remember how I felt at that moment. I knew that my daughter would be growing up in a very different world then I did.

So last night the President breaks in to tell us the news. I almost cried a couple of times. I was a little pissed off that I missed who got fired off the the Apprentice but it was worth it. Btw..it was Hope. She got fired. But now what? I mean I am so glad he's gone. I know a lot of people don't believe in killing other people yadda yadda yadda. But he is one person that the world is better off without. I don't enjoy the thought of people dying anymore then the next person but he needed to go.

In other news I'm gonna have to start building a freaking ark if the rain doesn't let up sometime soon. It's been raining off and on for about a week or two. I'm sick of it. I never thought I'd say this but I am so ready for the heat and sun. I have been in tropical mood lately, just look at my facebook profile picture. It's palm trees, island water and a hammock. I wish I had a hammock. But then I wouldn't be able to use it since it's freaking raining all the time.

Diet not going so well at the moment. I have been drinking a ton of water though. Just between being sick and this weather I haven't been the right frame of mind. But I am thinking I am going to try one of the exercise things I've already got. I mean why not? I already paid for it and I'm sure it would work fine if I did it on a regular basis. So yeah...gotta get going on that.

I'm kinda starting to get the skunk look going on. My roots are coming in a lot lighter then I remember them being and the rest of my hair kind of quit fading. So I have black at the bottom, dark to light brown going up and blonde roots. I was hoping to let this dye grow out so I wouldn't have to damage my hair with bleach. But I guess it depends on how stupid I start to look. I had considered doing brown highlights just to break it up a bit. But then that would mean more hair dye and more work. I think I'll just leave it alone.

Later.