Anti Feminist?

I've been thinking lately about feminism. I would definitely say I am not a feminist, but I am for equal rights if that makes any sense at all. I always associate feminists with those crazy women who refuse to shave, wear bras and wear make up. I will admit shaving is a pain in the butt but there really is nothing like a freshly shaven leg when you're cuddling with your husband. ;) I love my bras, while they are binding and sometimes uncomfortable, they make me feel perky and that is reason enough for me. I don't wear much make up but what I do wear I feel naked without. So those are just the superficial reasons I don't consider myself a feminist. I also realize they were all about getting women out of the house and into the workforce with equal pay and benefits that men get.

I am all for getting a job when you need to and supporting your family. I am all for women breaking through the glass ceiling. But I am also very happy being at home. Some people find that difficult to understand. It's not because I'm lazy and don't want to get a job, although I do admit to being pretty lazy. I enjoy being the one that takes care of my family. I like knowing that my husband has clean clothes because of me, he has food on the table after work because I cooked it, and I love being there when he walks through the door. Now this going to sound completely cheesy to a lot of you but I still get excited when it's almost time for my husband to get home. He get's off work at 5 pm and either before that time or at exactly 5 I start cooking dinner. Most things I cook don't take more then 30 to 45 minutes to prepare. So while he's driving home I'm busy in the kitchen cooking something for the family to eat. And while I'm doing that I keep an eye on the window for his truck to turn the corner onto our street. It's been almost 5 years since we got married and I can't help that I still wait with anticipation for him to come home. There is an extreme feeling of calm that comes over me the minute he walks through that door. I just feel better when he's home with me,even if he's out in the shop, just knowing that he is there makes the tension go away. (Unless the kids are being super insane that is!) So I cannot imagine not being there when he walks in the door at night. It would take away one of the best parts of my day.

Another thing that I love about being a stay at home wife and mom is being there for my kids. I don't have to call in on snow days or sick days, I don't have to drop them off with babysitters and daycares knowing how much I would be missing out on. Not that there is anything wrong with that, my daughter had to go to daycare while I was in college and she loved it. But I hated it. I felt guilty for her having to be there and felt like I missed out on a lot of things she learned in that time. Somehow when they start school it's different. You know they have to be there so you don't feel so bad. They are experiencing the things you can only experience through school. But while at school, I am home preparing things for them in many different ways. Clothes and sheets get washed, floors are mopped and vacuumed, trash is taken out, meals and snacks are prepared...just general homemaking. Some people say it's good to set an example of a woman working in the household so daughters can see that women can be self supporting. I think that's bull. I mean  yes, it is a good example but doing what I do is possibly one of the hardest jobs in the world. I get frustrated, I look awful at the end of the day and I don't get enough sleep. I also don't get paid for all the things I do. Yes I do complain about the kids driving me insane and I do complain about having to clean up messes all the time, but I don't think i would change anything.

I truly believe that I would have made the perfect 50's housewife. I can just picture me in the dress with the apron waiting by the door when my husband got home with his cocktail of choice and dinner waiting on the table. I do believe that the man should be the head of his family, it just seems to make sense to me. I consider me and my husband equals in our marriage so don't go nuts thinking that I don't have any say about anything. I just think that as the one that earns the money, provides all the food, clothing and resources that he should be the one in charge. He may not think that way, or at least he doesn't come out and say it, but I do. I like it that way. I know certain people think I let him decide everything for me or that he doesn't allow me to do things but that is just bullshit. He hasn't ever told me not to do something that I really wanted to do. He gives me suggestions and his opinions but he would never force me into anything. So there! *insert tongue sticking out 2  year old face here*

Am I anti feminism? Nah... Am I a feminist? Nah... I'm something in between. I am the new model 50's housewife. And when I do get a job when my son starts school I will probably enjoy the paycheck and getting out of the house. But I know I will miss being home with the kids and I will probably be stressed out even more having the keep up the house and maintain a job. But until then I am going to enjoy things the way they are now.