It has been one of those days when you seriously consider becoming an alcoholic just to deal with it all. It's the first day to back to school after spring break. You'd think that would be a good thing, one kid gone most of the day so I get a break right? Hell no! My son who is just over four years old has decided to wage a war on me for some reason. His favorite words are no, I don't want to, and why. Normally that would be easy to deal with. But when you hear all of those words repeatedly to the point that every time you hear them your blood pressure reaches dangerous levels and you wish you could just scream it's a bit excessive.
Now not only does he say these horrid words but he also has vile actions to use as well. For example, this morning. I wake up and go about my usual business. Reach into the freezer above the fridge to get some ice for my daughter's drink. I notice the ice is a little well...wet. So I feel everything else, sausage patties, frozen waffles, ice cream sandwiches, yeast rolls, all these things are soft as well. So I quickly transfer them into the big freezer. I'm thinking this whole time that the freezer is just about to die on me so I get pissed off about how much money we will need to spend to replace the entire fridge. I go about making breakfast for Libby and also make a new batch of koolaid. I put that in the fridge and notice it's not very cold in there either. I just happen to look at the temperature knob....it's turned OFF! I now realize that my son has at some point the previous day turned off the fridge and everything will soon rot if it hasn't already. I turn it back on and silently fume to myself since no one else who cares was awake yet. Of course when he does wake up he denies the whole thing. But later in the day I notice he's been in there again and has moved the knob to the coldest temp. I yell and explain why he cannot do this. I don't think it has sunken in.
His other form of parental torture is the toilet. He likes to take small and sometimes rather large toys and attempt to flush them down the toilet. Hotwheels, Mr. Potato Head glasses, play doh supplies. Anything he can get his grubby little paws on and will fit in the toilet he will try to flush. Today it was an ant trap I had placed in the bathroom to get rid of the ants that seem to be immune to the bait. I caught him in there repeatedly flushing the toilet trying to get the floating trap to go down. I am sure my face was probably purple by this point. So I removed all the toys from the bathroom, at least moved them out of his reach. We will see if this helps my problem.
One thing I cannot stand is when I complain about these things that drive me completely insane there is inevitably some older mom or grandmother there to tell me "welcome to motherhood" or "paybacks a bitch". I honestly commend myself for not punching these people straight in the face. I do not recall ever flushing my toys down the toilet. I don't think I should have to listen to these "experienced" mothers patronize me like I'm some infant that just gave birth two days ago. I have been dealing with this for 9 years. Almost 10! I don't need to hear these comments, I need to hear answers, suggestions, common stories to make me feel better. Let me know that it's almost over, these terrible years of stress and sleeplessness. Instead I get, "Enjoy them while you can", "they wont be this cute forever". To this I say, your idea of cute and mine are two very different things. So unless you are commiserating with me, shut the hell up. Unless you are offering to watch them or clean my house, leave me alone. Unless you are bringing me some sort of adult beverage or taking me out to a free meal, bite me.
No comments:
Post a Comment